


Prank wars

by Etstrubal



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Multi, OT4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-03-29
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:46:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Etstrubal/pseuds/Etstrubal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Those horny bastards." Tsukki shook his head. Suddenly, he looked up with his evil smile. The shorter hasn't seen one of those in a while, so he was naturally intrigued. "Hey, Akaashi. You wanna fuck with them a little?" Tsukki whispered, a smirk on his lips and a mischievous glint to his eyes.</p><p>"We already did, this morning. I'm probably good until tonight," The shorter male assumed Kei had meant it literally.</p><p>"What? No," the blond frowned for a moment before he understood the mistake that was made. "I meant, like... Prank them." He explained.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Prank wars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Smokey310](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokey310/gifts).



> So I saw a post and my mind started working and oh my god sorry /not sorry/  
> Sort of AU where they're all established already, post canon I suppose? It doesn't matter much anyway but let's go with that ^_^

Beautiful mountain views, cool, fresh air, and near complete solitude. The foursome's third annual vacation, the occasion that was becoming a tradition now, was definitely Akaashi's favorite so far. Much more peaceful than New York where they were last year, and although the beaches in Australia were beautiful at the first vacation they took together, the sun burned him and Tsukishima to crisps. And honestly, he didn't need anything beside his three boyfriends beside him. Well, maybe a hotel room with good AC. And room service. Chocolates on the pillows. A large, luxurious bath that at least two of them could fit in... Minimal demands, all in all.

They were currently visiting a small temple in the mountains, and while Bokuto and Kuroo had oddly enough decided to try meditating, he and Tsukki went for a slow stroll around. The place wasn't all that big, or interesting, so they were pretty much done in under half an hour and returned to the room where they left their two other boyfriends to see if they'd like to eat lunch now. There was a high possibility of that, since those two were always up for whatever included food.  
As they grew closer, soft gasps and moaning sounds could be heard from inside the room.

"Are they...?" Kei asked, his brows furrowed in disbelief.

"Most likely, yes." Akaashi replied dryly. After years of relationship with them, though more with Bokuto, it was hard to shock him.

"Those horny bastards." Tsukki shook his head. Suddenly, he looked up with his evil smile. The shorter hasn't seen one of those in a while, so he was naturally intrigued. "Hey, Akaashi. You wanna fuck with them a little?" Tsukki whispered, a smirk on his lips and a mischievous glint to his eyes.

"We already did, this morning. I'm probably good until tonight," The shorter male assumed Kei had meant it literally.

"What? No," the blond frowned for a moment before he understood the mistake that was made. "I meant, like... Prank them." He explained.

"Ohhh..." Akaashi's eyes widened in understanding. "Stupid semantics." He mumbled.

"Right, okay. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Kei was back to the mischievous tone he used earlier.

Akaashi wasn't completely sure he did, but he nodded enthusiastically anyway. It wasn't every day that he got to see Tsukki's slightly childish and playful side. And it was even less often that the two of them got to get some revenge on Kuroo and Bokuto's endless pranking.  
"But maybe we should, uh, say it out loud, just to make sure we're on the same page." He said hesitantly.

Tsukki explained the plan in the time it took Bokuto to make Kuroo lose his mind, which was distracting since he could never quite silence himself during sex. He didn't lose it completely, yet, though. If he had, they'd definitely recognize his signature cry. When hearing those sounds, fucking with them the literal way didn't seem like such a bad idea anymore.

His boyfriend must have caught on to his trail of thought and elbowed him in the ribs, giving him a stop-it-we-have-an-important-mission look, that morphed into a more sympathetic I-know-it's-hot-trust-me-but-we-could-do-it-in-the-hotel-room-later look. At least he thought what those meant. He nodded, giving Tsukki the best of his okay-but-I'm-definitely-getting-Bokuto-to-blow-me-too look, which included a nudge of his head towards the scene happening behind the door and a rather lewd gesture that made Kei scowl and hit his arm.  
"Ready?" He blond asked, his hand on the doorknob.  
Akaashi nodded, and the taller pushed the door open.

~

Kuroo was in the heavens. He wasn't so sure how he got there, though. The details on how he and Bokuto managed to turn a meditation session into a blowjob session were unclear, but he vaguely remembered Bokuto huffing loudly five minutes in, and exclaiming "This is boring, I can't sit still for that long and we both know it. Wanna make out instead?"  
To which he replied, "Hell yeah, thought you'd never ask." And in less than a second they pounced on each other, lips locked together.  
Well, maybe he did remember then, on a second thought.

Things only got more heated from that point on, as they usually do, and twenty minutes later, Kuroo was in heaven. Bokuto's head bobbed between his thighs, his skilled mouth drawing loud groans and gasps from Kuroo. How was he even so good at this... ridiculous. His hands slipped into the colored hair, which was currently unspiked. The soft strands felt really good in his palm as he followed more than guided the movement.

He was just about to suggest for Bokuto to shift over so his crotch would be over Kuroo's face and they could perform the sacred act that took them years to perfect (It was impressive, really, how coordinated they were while 69'ing), when they were interrupted. The door swung open and a furious Akaashi and Tsukki walked through it.

"What. The fuck. Do you think you're doing." Kei muttered angrily between his teeth.

Much to Kuroo's dimsey, Bokuto removed himself from his cock with a wet popping sound. The bulky man pushed himself up to sit on his knees, looking alarmed as he head turned to face the two who just entered. "We... uh... got bored and decided to fool around?" He tried, honest as always. It was very apparent he couldn't pinpoint exactly why two of his boyfriends were so angry.

"In a /temple/?!" Akaashi fumed. "While you were supposed to be meditating?! What if some monk walked in?! What if they called the police on you?!" Akaashi wasn't normally an angry person, and even if he was pissed at something or someone, it was more likely he'll be passive aggressive about it or go blow off steam somewhere else. Seeing him like this was unusual, and both Kuroo and Bokuto were stunned into silence.

"W-well," Bokuto stammered, already looking dejected. "Th-there are just th-theee monks h-here so we thought th-that... they'd probably... not come around..." he stumbled on his own words a bit, but... Bokuto just made a pretty good argument. Akaashi and Tsukki glanced at each other before Kei spoke, a stern look on his face.

"That's not the point at all," he said coolly. "We came here to have some new experiences, not of the sexual kind. We have more than enough of those. You were being very disrespectful towards the place and its history, and we're leaving. Now." Tsukki used his condescending teacher tone, just to add bite, but the truth is he was in a hurry to leave and get to the hotel. Seeing Kuroo half naked with his cock out and flushed hard, while Bokuto's lips were deliciously swollen and slightly reddened... it was too much. But he had an act to play, and he was having too much fun with it.

Bokuto, of course, took every word to the heart and was now thoroughly into his sad puppy routine. Akaashi's heart squeezed at the sight, and he might have cracked and gave up if he didn't steel himself by remembering the time Bokuto thought it'd be funny to put a fake cockroach in his body lotion jar. He even took the trouble of pushing it in so his boyfriend's fingers would horrifyingly brush against it. He threw the entire thing out of the window while screaming, hitting notes so high it was likely only dogs could hear them. The lotion was a special made one, and the jar cost 100$. He looked at Bokuto again and felt no remorse.

The stoky man shuffled along after his two angry boyfriends, leaving his still painfully hard and very horny boyfriend behind.

"Ngh, wait!" Kuroo yelled after them, tucking himself back into his underwear and loose pants and stumbling along. While he did see the point in what Kei had said... Things like that never stopped them before. Maybe they're just pissy today, he thought, dismissing his suspicions.

The walk to their car was short, albeit extremely uncomfortable. Kei shot them murderous glances whenever one of them opened his mouth to speak, and so they quickly learned to just keep quiet and walk faster, because the tallest of the four had a habit of walking really fast when he was pissed off.  
The rest of the way was accompanied only by the sounds of leaves and small branches crunching under their shoes.

"I just can't believe you guys!" Tsukishima burst once they all had their seat belts buckled and Akaashi started the car. "I really thought we could trust you to tame your ridiculous libido for just 30 minutes." He blamed them, refusing to make eye contact even through the mirror. Akaashi shook his head slowly, disappointment apparent on his features.

To his left, Bokuto let out another one of his well known puppy like whines.  
"Look, we just-" Kuroo started saying, but was cut off by Tsukishima shushing him.

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" He snapped sharply, and Akaashi went as far as to put a calming hand on his thigh. Kei huffed, and it was Akaashi's turn to speak now.

"We are very disappointed in you two. We thought we were very clear with you... if you were going to have public sex, then at the very least you should have waited for me and Kei to see if we want to join."

Kuroo opened his mouth and was about to start mumbling another apology or excuse when the meaning of Akaashi's words registered. "Wait, what-" he begun weakly but was cut off by the now smirking blonde, who couldn't really keep up the angry facade anymore. Akaashi was cracking a smile behind the wheel as well.

"No excuses, Kuroo. That was just rude." He looked back at Kuroo's surprised face, and watched his expression turned into one of understanding and wonder. The three of them burst into laughing. Unfortunately, laughing only made his blue balls condition worse and he quickly doubled over with a grimace.

Bokuto at his side was a bit slower, his eyes quickly passing from one boyfriend to the next. "So..." he started slowly, "You're not actually mad?" He asked, hopeful, his eyes wide.

"No, not really. You guys got into worse situations and managed to find your way out, so..." the blond shrugged.

A look of pure relief flooded Bokuto's face and he threw himself at his blond boyfriend, nearly sobbing. "I th-thought you w-were so mad and th-that I totally r-ruined the vacation!" He cried out. "Why did you pretend to be mad!"

Unfazed by Bokuto's usual dramatic charade, Kei rolled his eyes, but his fingers patted the half colored hair gently anyway. "We thought it'd be funny," He shrugged.

"Yeah, Tetsu, you should have seen your face when you realized Bokuto wasn't going back to your dick," Akaashi snorted, his chuckle a little evil around the edges. Probably Kei's influence.

"How is that funny?!" Kuroo asked, incredulous. His hands were pressed against his crotch, trying to subside the pain.

"How is replacing my toothpaste with mayonnaise funny?" Tsukishima asked coldly.

"How is putting that horse mask near my face when I'm asleep so when I wake up I'll have a heart attack funny?" Akaashi contributed, throwing a dark glance to Kuroo over his shoulder.

"That was months ago and I said I was sorry! How was I supposed to know a horse kicked you when you were a kid and that you'd start crying and freaking out?" Kuroo tried defending himself.

Akaashi threw him an even darker glance. It was just the two of them that morning, since Tsukishima decided to join Bokuto on his morning run, and Kuroo had agreed to cut that part out of the story when they told it later.

Luckily, after years of being of being together, they all knew when it was time to pretend they never heard something and change the subject.  
Tsukishima quickly interfered, clearing his throat before speaking. "Point is, assholes, you got what you deserved. Now you know what it feels like. Maybe now you'll even chill with the pranks, hmm?" He was still patting Bokuto's hair all the while. It was kind of uncomfortable, since Bokuto was clinging to him from the back of the car, but he managed.

"What? Hell no. That's not how it works!" Kuroo said quickly.

"Yeah," Bokuto agreed, nodding into Kei's neck. "All you did was start a war," he stated simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Tsukki's hand stilled in his hair and he pulled back a bit to look at his boyfriend. "What." He stated dumbly.

"Oh, yeah. Those are the rules." Kuroo, who had somewhat recovered by now and could sit straight without pain, was starting to look smug.

"What 'rules'?" Akaashi asked carefully, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Oh, you know," Kuroo now had his usual shit eating grin on his face, which never meant something good. "The rules of prank wars. Which you started."

Bokuto nodded in agreement. Tsukishima groaned loudly, rolling his eyes. Akaashi sighed from the bottom of his soul. So much for his nice, peaceful vacation.


End file.
